Get to know Hope

Challenges in Adoption

If you would have asked me a year ago, I would not have been able to tell you much about the nuances of adoption. Approaching this job as a 24-year-old newlywed, fresh out of college with a bachelor’s degree, and very little personal experience with loss and grief proved uniquely eye-opening. I found myself coming face-to-face with person after person who carried great burdens on their shoulders. For our expectant mothers, it’s the confusion and fear of being pregnant without the resources, ability, or support system to step into motherhood. For our adoptive families, it’s often the grief of infertility, or a burden on their hearts for the children of all over the world in need of a family.

It's difficult for anyone to grapple with these challenges. Early on I feared that because I couldn’t personally relate to their situations, there was in some way an unbreachable separation between them and myself. That the only role available to me was the distant social worker that types up the reports, sends them where they need to go and shakes your hand when I’m done. However, from observing my fellow workers in this mission field, I learned that the far more courageous thing to do is to follow Jesus’ example. 

What Jesus Does

When Jesus traveled back to Judea after hearing word of his beloved friend Lazarus falling sick, Jesus knew that he would already be dead upon arriving. He knew Lazarus’ sisters Martha and Mary would be in the depths of grief and fear for the future, and that all of that would soon be changed to joy when he raised Lazarus from the dead. Yet, in John 11:35, we are given a sweet glimpse into the type of person Jesus truly is, with just two words we can see that He is a far more compassionate God than one that just answers prayers. Those two words are this: “Jesus wept.” Jesus, before doing the impossible and redeeming a hopeless situation, went to Mary and simply wept with her. Allowing himself to be “deeply moved and his spirit greatly troubled.” 

What I can do

I know I cannot pretend to have even a drop in the ocean of Jesus’ power and omniscience. I can’t sit with a grieving couple, pursuing adoption after a miscarriage or stillbirth, and know what’s going to happen for them. I can’t promise an adoptive family that they won’t experience new forms of grief in the adoption journey, and I can’t sit with a birth family and answer all their questions about what the future will look like, or whether the confusion will be done at the court finalization.

What I can do is sit with you, weep with you, and support you in the coming days. I hope and pray that we as an organization can give you even a glimpse of the life-changing immensity of love that Jesus has for you and share every joy and sorrow along the way.

Hello, I’m Nichole! I’ve been with Gateway Woods for almost 15 years. I am married to my high school sweetheart Paul for 20 years and counting. We are currently neck-deep in the teenage years with our son and two daughters (and trying not to think about the fact that we started dating each other at the ages our kids are now!). Paul is a high school science, math, and Bible teacher. We are an active family, often signing up for road races, looking for new hiking trails, or working our little homestead on our 2-acre plot of land. I’m a writer and blogger and try to squeeze in any time I can for that as well. Prior to the Social Work field, I worked as an Occupational Therapist with children in schools and with the elderly in nursing homes. God has gifted me the skills of organization and love that He has led me to use in my role at Gateway Woods.

Get to Know Kim

At Gateway Woods, my position is the adoption supervisor at the Indiana office. The world of adoption is a mixed bag of emotions for everyone involved, as you cannot separate the grief, loss and hardship from the beauty, satisfaction or relief. I know that the adoptive parents often struggle with deep grief from infertility struggles or crippling anxiety over the unknowns throughout the adoption process. I know that expectant mothers and birth mothers often struggle with doubt, grief, lack of support, stressful pregnancies, confusion on what is best for their child and best for them, and heartache as they often want to parent their child but are unsure if they are able. They hold the heavy weight of the decision they sometimes make when choosing an adoptive family for their child. 

Burdens of Life

I see myself now as a burden-bearer. It’s the thread that God has laced through my life in every job and ministry I have been a part of. Since college graduation 16 years ago, I have consistently had the opportunity to meet with people who are hurting, and I have seen more broken hearts and broken families than I ever imagined I would know. I, too, have been in their shoes, in places in my life where I desperately needed someone to help walk alongside me, to provide clarity, guidance, support, prayer, maybe a listening ear or a cup of coffee, or just to sit with me and say nothing at all. Those mentors taught me how to thrive in the chaos that is this life, to see beauty and joy co-mingle with pain and loss. I have three beautiful children that have taught me that parenting is actually super hard and not for the faint of heart.  

God's Love

I am reminded of Psalms 147:3 that says “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” I am convinced that God is able to heal any heartache and bring peace to any struggle we are going through. And I am so thankful for the ministry at Gateway Woods, which allows my team to not only help in tangible ways like through writing home studies or providing community resources, but that we can also share about the love and provision of God. That He is truly the ultimate burden-bearer, and His door is open to everyone that wants to come to Him.    

Good Guides

My hope is that our team here at Gateway Woods walks through this journey with both the adoptive parents and the expectant mothers showing respect, compassion, professionalism, kindness, and grace. I hope that we can be burden-bearers for you in whatever reason brings you to our agency, to empower you to make the right decision for you and your family in a way that helps you see Jesus in a new and even better light. May you find healing and the peace that only Jesus Christ can fully provide. May you find hope and be strengthened to walk out the plan that God has for your life. May we be good guides for you, so that you eventually feel able to reach out to bless and guide others. 

I am Dan Sparling and have the privilege of directing the Indiana Adoption and Foster Care teams. I have worked at Gateway Woods for 5 years and love every part of my job. It was a long and winding road to get here, and I am thankful God brought me to this ministry.