Love and Respect for Family of Origin
When a parent makes a plan of adoption for their child, they become the first part of the adoption triad, which includes the family of origin, the adoptive family, and the adopted child. This decision is brave, loving, and painful. The family of origin should be treated as equals during the adoption process, with love and respect.
Throughout the adoption process, special care should be given to the expectant mother. We value her as a person, knowing the difficult decision she is making. She should never feel pressured to follow through on the adoption plan, and more than that, her hopes, desires, and wishes should be honored. Remember, she loves this baby as much, and oftentimes more, than the agency or adoptive family.
The adoption process can be intimidating, with a lot of legal language, paperwork, and very personal questions. Every effort should be made to make sure that the family of origin understands each step of the process. Sometimes this will include hiring an attorney to explain the legal process, other times we will give extra time for the expectant mom talk with the child’s father or her extended family. Giving time, answering questions, and making sure there is understanding is a way that we give value to the family of origin.
We also want to make sure that the expectant parent is loved and cared for. They should be helping to make all the decisions about the relationship they want with their child and the adoptive family. There should be special care given to preserving the relationship between a birth parent and their child.
Finally, the expectant parent’s needs should be met throughout the process. There will always be physical and medical needs, including making sure she can get to all the medical appointments, ensuring she has a safe place to live, and having nutritious food to eat. Beyond this, we give special attention to the emotional and spiritual needs of these women through offering counseling, connection, and support through the grief process.
In these ways, and so many more, our goal is to give expectant moms a voice in their adoption plan, maintain a connection between all members of the adoption triad, create a process that is easily understood, and meet all of the needs of the expectant mom. In doing these things, we want to show that we value, love, and respect these brave families!
